Cross Your Tees and Exes
by pinkluver93
Summary: Frylock teaches you fanfic-ers how to properly write, while obstacles get in the way. His class is known to be unforgettable...and FREE!


Frylock, in his room, wrote these words on the marker board: "LESSON FOR TODAY: HOW TO PROPERLY WRITE A FANFICTION STORY". He sees you, the reader, reading and faces in your direction, smiling.

"Hey there. As you may or may not know, I'm Frylock, and welcome to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Fanfiction section on Fanfiction dot net...." Waits for Meatwad to cue a question card he was holding. "Meatwad, say the first question."

"Oh right," Meatwad read off the cue card. "Umm, the question says, W-w-why am...I here? Wait, why am I here?"

"Well Meatwad, you're here to cue the question cards, but the reader is here for something different." He speaks to the reader. "You're here today because I'm gonna teach and inform you about ways to write fanfiction that is clear to understand, relates to the TV show, movie, or any other thing you're writing about, and also displays what you hopefully learned in English class."

"Geez!" Shake says coming in. "I thought stories were supposed to be entertaining, not sound like that stupid book that dude wrote about organisms!" Frylock was appalled.

"First of all, "The Origin of the Species" by Charles Darwin is VERY informative and entertaining! It teaches all of us on Earth about where we come from and-"

"Okay fine! I don't wanna take a class I'd fail anyway. What the hell are you doing in here anyway?"

"Well before you interrupted, I was teaching our guest about the basics of fanfiction." Meatwad points to the screen where you are.

"Yeah, right there. Hey, you got any food in your house? If you do, can I have it please?? PLEASE????" Meatwad gives you puppy eyes while Shake goes up to you.

"Look, why are you wasting our time? Go away! If you wanna learn this stuff, go back to school! WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE! HAHAHAHAHA!" Frylock pulled him back.

"Shake, don't say that to our guest! I want to teach the basic skills of correct writing, and you're being rude!" Shake just decided to leave.

"Well, I'm gonna go do something that's worth my time. And don't let that stupid idiot hang around too long!"

After that, Shake shut the door, and Frylock is writing his sentence on the board. He talks to you after he writes it.

"Don't worry about him, he just wants you to be dumb like he is. But don't you worry, when this lesson is over, you'll be a writing superstar!" Meatwad felt left out.

"Hey, I got a question." "Well I won't answer your question until you say that sentence correctly." Meatwad was confused.

"What do you mean?" Frylock wrote something under the sentence he wrote.  
"Okay, the sentence, "Hey, I got a question." is incorrect."  
"Nuh uh!"  
"Yes it is, Meatwad!" "Well, if you think you're a smarty darty, then how DO I say it?" Frylock was happy again.

"I'm glad someone else wants to learn. Okay, instead of saying, "I "got" a question.", you say, I "have" a question."  
"Why do I have to say it that way?"  
"Well you don't necessarily "have" to say it that way, but it'll make you feel alot smarter and it's the proper way to say it."  
"Well, I'm dumb anyway. I like "got" better than "have". Got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got-"  
"MEATWAD, I'M TRYING TO TEACH!!!!!" Frylock yelled. Meatwad backed up.  
"Okay okay, you don't have to yell...."

Frylock faces you again.

"Sorry about that. Now, back to the sentence." He shows off the board, which reads, "Well, I'm gonna go do something that's worth my time. And don't let that stupid idiot hang around too long!"

Frylock looks it over. "As you can see, there's plenty of mistakes. First one is, there's no such thing as the word "gonna". He should've said "going to", but as you know, he's a little dim-witted. He also started a sentence with the word, "and". This is also a common mistake in fanfiction on this website. You don't need it in your sentence because you're already saying or writing your sentence correctly without it."

After he explains the mistakes, he fixes the sentence accordingly. "See? Now that is a "correct" sentence." Frylock stops for a second after he hears snoring.

"Meatwad, wake up!" "Huh? I thought you wanted me out of your business."  
"Well, you're disturbing my lesson with your snoring, so you're technically still in my business." After this is said, Shake comes in the room.

"Oh ho! Fight fight fight! I sense some tension in this room!" Frylock glared at him.  
"Shake, get out of here!"  
"Why? I was gonna teach something!"  
"Oh yeah? Like what?" Shake suddenly got an idea in his head.

"Umm, well, I read some very disturbing stories with text message language in them and-" Frylock was delighted.  
"Ooh, great idea, Shake!" He turns to the reader. "Our next lesson is about how to avoid writing fanfiction in text style. I'll write some examples on the board."

Shake decided to mess with Meatwad while Frylock wrote on the board.

"Hey Meatwad, I think that reader digs you."  
"What you mean?" "You know, likes you."  
"Well, everyone likes me, I guess. I tend to be a likeable person at times."  
"No, you numbskull! They wanna marry you!" Meatwad became scared.

"NOOOOOO!!!! I'm not up for a commitment! I'm sorry for the rejection, but this is too much! Can't we just be friends? I won't ask you for food anymore!" Frylock finally finished.

"Shut the f*** up! Anyway...." He turns to the board. "Here are some examples of what I see in some fanfiction writing."

He shows off the first example, which reads:

"k so we lyk went 2 the ocean to hang out an stuff. i wuz holding hiss hand an he was holdin myn. so i told him omg u luk soo grate an he waz lyk lol thx an u luk soo hawt. so aftr tht he took me home an i told him i luved him an that id ttyl, an he was like k bye luver."

Frylock acted disappointed. "Sad, isn't it? People actually write like this on here, no lie! I had to read this thing five times to understand it fully! If you're going to write like this, don't put it on here! It makes you look illiterate and it isn't proper. On a fanfiction site, ALWAYS use proper English, puntuation, capitalization, spelling and grammar." Shake decided to speak.

"You had to read this FIVE times?" He laughed hysterically. "What are you, 65? I knew what it said scanning right through it!"  
"Well Shake, I'm trying to make a point that you don't write on here like you're chatting with your friend through text message! Educated adults may be on here, and they don't need to see this kind of literacy."

Meatwad decided to comment. "Well I tell you what, I'm kinda bored of this stuff. Why do you have to be proper if you're expressing your ideas?"  
"Well, it looks better, Meatwad."  
"It looks better, huh? Lemme say something here." Sad music starts to play. "I think people should be able to express their ideas without having to worry about if they look dumb or not. It's like.....when people are speaking a differemt language. If that's the way they wanna transvestite their style, then let them, as long as they're being themselves." Frylock added something.

"Excuse me, but do you mean "translate" instead of...you know.." Meatwad smiled.  
"Heheh, it's okay, you can say it."  
"Uhhh, instead of..transvestite." Shake laughed hysterically.  
"Lil Miss Perfect said tranvestite! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Meatwad laughed along.  
"Heheh yeah! He's a fool!"

Frylock felt upstaged. He spoke up.

"Meatwad, that WAS what you were trying to say right? Translate?"  
"Oh yeah yeah, I just thought it was funny what you said. But yeah, go on."  
"Well, I've kinda run out of time because of all this nonesense."

Shake decided to act sarcastic. "Ohhhh!!! Such a disappointment!"

"Hey Frylock," Meatwad started. "You should teach a class like this for Carl."  
"What could Carl possibly learn at his age? How to die?!"

Frylock turns to you. "Well, I hope you learned some stuff about writing today. I know there were some..technical difficulties throughout, but we made it through the story. If you don't remember any of what just happened, look back in the story." Shake turns to you.

"And if you have the same IQ as Meatwad, you shouldn't be living at all!" Meatwad was appalled.  
"Whatever, boy. Atleast I don't start my sentences with "and"."

END CREDITS 


End file.
